Tap (Water)

Parched. Dehydrated. Thirsty. You can feel your mouth getting drier and you begin breathing more heavily. You have a headache and your eyes are dry. 

You need water.

Here are two solutions to this problem:

1. Pat- Does absolutely nothing for your thirst. Stands around. Potentially makes you work on Bridge even though you're really just trying to solve your own issue of thirst. Your mind is clouded and you're tired.

2. Tap- Immediately quenches your thirst. Water bursts from the spout and into your mouth (No cup? You're a barbarian.) You feel better. You're relieved and can finally get back to doing what you do best: being happy.

It seems clear to us that Pat is always the worst option in this situation, so we don't even offer that variant, but if you wanted to pick Option 1, you're likely not the customer for us. So go away.